An Autopilot Mode

If you are on automatic pilot or on autopilot, you are acting without thinking about what you are doing, usually, because you have done it many times before — Collins Dictionary

I feel like I’m just reliving “yesterday” over and over again. Wake up, get dressed, go to work, eat, work some more, drive home, eat, study, read some books — sometimes workout, sleep, repeat. Then the long holiday comes. Break those habits and life gets easily pointless — out of nowhere.

Reflecting on my life. Where am I headed? What is my ultimate personal dream? How might my experience influence and contribute to my ultimate personal dream? What are my fears about my future? How will I contribute make this life a better place to live, when I also ever feel life is pointless?

I might even find myself having the same thoughts during the day at a certain time of the day. It feels like nothing is new and my life’s just going forward.

I try to learn, to be present — enjoy the view when the traffic hits, drive home consciously, enjoy my food and tea, talk with a friend, enjoy the breeze at my small balcony. Life is a journey to enjoy the little things, isn’t it? I should not let the time pass without enjoying it, sharing it, or making something out of it.

This year-long holiday really gets me into the idle time, reflecting my 2021, and to never forget the big picture — my ultimate dream and enjoy life to the fullest, in whatever circumstances, in whatever challenges, and in whatever comes next (the unknown). Believe that different mindsets will bring different results. So, I choose to consciously live my life and always make the best out of my situation.

Make myself comfortable, work harder, and strive to make every moment efficient. But, don't forget to have idle time, enjoy life, and make life more meaningful in idleness. This is my favorite quote to closing this 2021.

“I have often wondered whether especially those days when we are forced to remain idle are not precisely the days spent in the most profound activity. Whether our actions themselves, even if they do not take place until later, are nothing more than the last reverberations of a vast movement that occurs within us during idle days. In any case, it is very important to be idle with confidence, with devotion, possibly even with joy. The days when even our hands do not stir are so exceptionally quiet that it is hardly possible to raise them without hearing a whole lot.”

— Rainer Maria Rilke